Wowee!! I can't believe it's been 5 whole months since I last wrote...with an apology that I hadn't written in months. I'm beginning to sound like a broken record! But, I guess this time I have a pretty good excuse. We welcomed our little son into our family on October 19, 2012, and we've been helping along in his first few months of life. It's hard to believe he'll be 3 months old in just a few days. It's amazing how much you forget between children all the little steps in their miraculous development and growth. How quickly they learn to focus their eyes to meet yours...and how quickly your heart melts with love for this little person. It's amazing how we were created to bond so deeply so fast with a being that only months before didn't even exist! And now, you can't even imagine them not being there.
Our little G. is quite the individual already. He seems to be much more serious than his sister, and very much attached to his mommy...which is wonderful and at the same time exhausting! However, I'm trying to take the advice of so many other seasoned mothers and remember that this time will quickly fly by and my little boy will be way to busy to snuggle with his mommy. His sister is already smitten with him, and I hope to goodness that the mutual fascination continues and that they grow up to love each other and be friends instead of fighting with each other all the time! And of course, we have our beloved husband and daddy home with us for a few months to help out and bond with G. and it's been absolutely wonderful! I try not to think about the day when he has to go back to work fulltime.
I think that with each new event in our lives, we change somewhat, in who we are, and what we want, and how we view the world. Now that I have my baby in my arms instead of my belly, I find myself asking 'me' what it is that I want to do next. I've always been the kind of person who started a new venture with all good intentions and enthusiasm, but somehow, somewhere along the way, my interest wanes, and I never completely finish what it is I started to do. For example, for ten years I studied music with the Royal Conservatory, with the aim of becoming a piano teacher. Well, I did teach a few people, and I did get my Grade 8 practical...but I didn't do my theory exam and so that means I didn't get a diploma. If I wanted one, I have to do Grade 8 all over again, and do my theory exam within 6 months. Then I tried living in another country with my hubby and making it our home longterm, but I got pregnant and never really got to power through the tough initial months of foreign living and have enough time to get comfortable. Then I was determined I wanted to make photography my pursuit, was all enthused for a few months, and then because I couldn't afford a better camera and I saw how great others were at it, I got discouraged. Of course, I could have used my time a little more wisely and studied techniques more to improve to the best my equipment offered. So. I can only conclude the problem lies within me...procrastination and lack of determination has been my worst enemy in holding me back from progress! And if I'm ever going to feel satisfied with where I am in my life, I have to get more discipline. I don't want to look back on my years and wonder what it is I've accomplished. And, although I know raising children is a very noble thing, and I feel privileged to have my beautiful babies, I don't think that defines me as a person exactly, but is just one part of my person.
So, although I don't really believe in the idea of resolutions for the new year, I want to make this year a year of change! A year where I get a grip, and make some good decisions! Otherwise, what exactly am I teaching my children? On that note, I hope all you who stumble upon my blog, or are still following my meager posts, are well, and enjoying what life brings your way!
